Havent someone always told you from time to time, or maybe you, for that matter, kept reminding someone to be optimistic about some perturbing issues on hand?
Well, have you ever tried to do that before?
Thinking positive when everything seems so bleak before you?
Firstly, is it always achievable to you? I mean, can you smile in the face of trouble?
Secondly,more importantly, do you feel good doing that? Telling yourself that everything will work out fine...does it make you feel real?
Because, I've always TRIED to cheer myself up despite all the rubbish that awaits me, and it's so hard for me to do that, and even after I keep my spirits high, deep down I don't feel so right...It's as if there's a dull aching in my heart, begging me to let the real me out
So does that mean that the problem lies with me? Or does the problem lies with the theory itself of telling yourself everything is great when everything is not?
Sure I know of all sorts of examples when human will conquered all odds. Look at Terry Fox, Forrest Gump...the list is endless
But why do I feel so empty after doing that?
Everytime I go through this optimist ritual, I can see myself as an empty balloon inflating myself up with the happy helium gas. When the results are still bad even though I was positive about the whole issue, a sharp pin pops out to pop my balloon and the whole vicious cycle starts all over again. I try to convince myself that it's alrite u know, I just have to try harder and success will be mine.
But unfortunately humans are not elastic pieces of rubber which can be inflated and burst infinitely. We all hurt.
What if I chose to remain as an unflated balloon, taking everything as it comes my way and indulging in all the emotions---may it be joy, sadness, anger, jealousy, confusion, dilemma...relying just on my strength and faith in myself...accepting that everyone has to go through all these by themselves
If I do so, then i'll be invincible from the sharp pin won't I?
N some may say, " oh u're just afraid the higher the hopes, the greater the disappointment." Well, my response to that would be, everyone has hopes raised and hopes dashed. Accept them, and live them out to the maximum.
If you're a inflate-ballon believer, that's fine with me too. All of us have different opinions and beliefs moulded by our unique experiences...I accept that.
posted by Lia @ 12:17 PM
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